Breathless
by becausethereisonepiece
Summary: Zoro is pretty sure that falling in love is just another side effect of cancer. For Kumiko-sama-chan's ZoSan Coffee Shop AU Project. Zosan.
1. Breathless

A Starbucks in the middle of a hospital food court wasn't exactly a common place for most people to go on a first date. Even Zoro, 'the most romantically inept person in existence' Sanji had once said, knew that hospitals weren't very romantic or happy or anything really. It was honestly kind of depressing.

"This date sucks shitty nurse," Zoro groused, lightly rubbing at his temples through his well-worn, black beanie in an attempt to ward off an oncoming headache.

"It's honestly not that bad Zoro and it was your idea to come here in the first place," Sanji said, grinning at the annoyed expression on the other man's face. "And for the last goddamn time, I'm not a nurse. I'm a medical oncologist, I'm damn good at my job, and you fucking know it." The blond, clad in light blue scrubs, plopped down next to his wheelchair bound companion. He passed Zoro a cup halfway full cup of ice cubes while he quickly gulped down his own iced latte that had been made just minutes before.

"I don't think most good nurses sneak their patients out of a restricted hospital ward to go on a fucking coffee date," Zoro deadpanned glaring at the cup of ice chips Sanji had placed in front of him.

"Shhh…" Sanji hissed, glancing wearily around the small coffee shop, "If they find out I brought you down here I could lose by job. And besides, we haven't _technically_ left the hospital so you should be fine, probably.

Zoro simply snorted, rattling the oxygen tubes that rested just inside his nose. "I'm glad to know you care so much about my wellbeing."

The young doctor shoved the laughing man roughly, biting his lower lip to try and prevent the giggles from building within his chest. "You're such a fucking smartass."

"Takes one to know one I suppose," Zoro shot back. "And if you're so worried about getting in trouble then why did you take me down here in the first place?"

"Because you looked like you were going stir crazy in your room and I felt sorry for yo-" Sanji cut himself off, noticing the sudden closed off look on the other man's face.

"Shit. Zoro, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that," Sanji murmured, gripping the other man's bony shoulder tightly. "Hey, look at me Zoro."

Zoro didn't. He simply stared at his hands clenched in his lap. They looked thinner than he remembered. They were probably thinner than Sanji's now. He felt like crying. He always felt like crying lately. It was probably a side effect of cancer or something.

"Come on Zoro. Now's not the time to throw a pity party," Sanji muttered quietly, rubbing Zoro's back soothingly.

Zoro blinked quickly, bringing himself back at the Sanji's touch. Shit, the blond knew all his weak spots.

"Does that feel good?" the blond questioned, moving to rub his thumb around the edge of his shoulder blade.

"Mmm… Yeah," Zoro hummed, trying not to lean into the other man's touch. Fuck. That felt really good. If Sanji wasn't already a doctor, Zoro would have told him to become a masseur or something. "Don't feel sorry for me though shitty nurse. Enough people already do and it's fucking annoying. I'm fine."

"I don't moss-for-brains. I just said something without thinking," Sanji snapped, moving to rub along Zoro's other shoulder blade, causing the man to let out an appreciative groan. "You're not fine though."

"What the fuck to you mean? I'm fine Sanji!" Zoro snapped, sitting up sharply.

Sanji pulled his hand away from his patient's back and into his lap. "No Zoro. You're not fine. You've got tumor the size of a baseball in your lungs, it's fucking spreading to your legs, you're tired all the time, your survival rate has dropped to less than 10%, and you're sick Zoro. You're sick and I-"

"Tell me something I don't know," Zoro barked. He felt like crying again. When had he become so weak? He didn't need Sanji to tell him this. He knew. How could he not? He wasn't stupid, he was just weak.

"But I don't feel sorry for you," Sanji continued, acting as though Zoro had never interrupted "I don't feel sorry for you because you don't feel sorry for yourself. You don't whine or complain or blame anyone and you just deal with it. You're strong Zoro, inhumanly strong, but you're not fine."

Zoro had gone back to staring at his hands. At some point the fingers of his left hand had become intertwined with Sanij's own. His fingers were thin and bony but they were still a bit thicker than the doctor's. He was still alive, at least for the most part. He squeezed Sanji's hand and just breathed.

"I'm not fine," Zoro admitted, more to himself than to Sanji. It felt strange to say it out loud. He'd never let anyone else know how much being sick had affected him but it felt good to say it. It felt really good actually.

Zoro barely noticed the quick press of Sanji's lips to his cheek. He blinked quickly, looking up at the blond for some sort of conformation that he had indeed given him a kiss. A huge grin spread across Sanji's face and he looked so happy that Zoro couldn't exactly help the blush that broke out across his cheeks. "I'm proud of you Zoro."

"Wipe that stupid smile off your face, it's creeping me out," Zoro groused.

"Make me."

"Gladly."

Zoro was pretty sure Sanji had actually been the one to lean in first but it didn't matter because, holy shit, he was making out with his hot doctor and Sanji was _really _good with his tongue. Zoro's head spun and he felt like he was floating. He could kiss this man forever, he really could.

Sanji flicked his tongue so it rubbed along the roof of Zoro's mouth and Zoro was pretty sure he was going to lose his mind. He moaned loudly and tried to take a quick breath through his nose but found that he couldn't.

He couldn't breathe.

Zoro pulled away with a huge gasp, taking in as much air as his broken lungs would allow. "Shit," he wheezed, readjusting the nose tubes that had nearly fallen out during their brief make out session.

"Did I leave you breathless my love?" Sanji snorted, trying not to giggle at his crude joke.

"Oh for the love of... I cannot believe you said that. I thought it was kind of a rule that doctors weren't supposed to make fun of their patients' illnesses," Zoro sputtered.

Sanji simply shrugged. "I'm not exactly a traditional doctor. I play by a different set of rules."

"Yeah, no shit."

Sanji grinned, sipping at his drink in a way that made the butterflies in Zoro's stomach return in full force. This bastard really knew how to push his buttons.

"We should probably head back. Someone's going to notice that you're not in your room and you've got a pretty big day tomorrow," Sanji said, standing up to throw his cup in the trash.

"Yeah, don't remind me," Zoro groaned, "I'm not exactly looking forward to it."

"Aw don't be a baby. A pneumonectomy is no big deal," Sanji proclaimed, placing his hands on either of the chair's handles and pushing his grumpy patient towards the elevators on the opposite side of the room.

"They're taking out my fucking left lung!" Zoro retorted, turning in his chair to give the doctor an angry glare.

"Right. It'll be a walk in the park."

"Oh my god. I can't believe I actually_ like_ someone like you."

"I honestly can't believe it either."

**xXx**

Zoro actually didn't realize he was in love at first, although looking back on everything that had happened in the past six months he really should have seen it coming. After finding out he had stage 4 lung cancer, Zoro had been quickly assigned to an oncologist who would manage his case. He hadn't known much about the man at the time except his name, that he pretty new to the whole doctor thing, and he was supposedly really good at his job.

When he had first met the mouthy blond the first thing he noticed was his legs because, holy fucking shit, those things went on forever. And his eyes, he could stare at them all day and would still be able to find something different about them. They were like an ocean, always the same but always different and Zoro knew it was cheesy but those eyes left him breathless in a way that had nothing to do with the cancer eating away at his lungs. Zoro even liked that stupid eyebrow of his. It just suited the blond no matter how much Sanji wanted to deny it.

Zoro was even more taken aback by the blond's personality than by his appearance. He was hot headed, rude, moody, and had the mouth of sailor. But he was also kind. He was kind in the way that most people wouldn't notice unless if they were really looking for it. He loved his job and all his patients and he actually cared. He kept his word and didn't lie or bullshit his way through things like most people did. If he said he was going to do something he was going to do it, no strings attached.

Sanji's smile was defiantly the best thing about him though, or at least that's what Zoro thought. It was fucking dazzling. He could probably blind someone with that shit. Whenever Sanji smiled it was like a gift from the fucking heavens. He didn't half-ass his smiles either. His eyes would crinkle at the corners and nearly all of his teeth would show as he pulled his lips back to reveal a slight overbite and sometimes he'd laugh in a way that'd make Zoro's stomach flutter with butterflies. He looked like a dope and Zoro loved it.

Sanji didn't smile like that often but when he did it made Zoro's insides a gooey mess, not that he'd ever admit it of course. He had a reputation to uphold after all.

Within a week after arriving at the hospital Zoro knew he was fucked. He had fallen head over heels for his stupidly hot oncologist and had no idea what to do about it.

Zoro was a bit slow when it came to things involving romance but Sanji was fucking oblivious. After doing some research online, Zoro tried everything in an effort to get the blond to notice him. He bought him flowers from the hospital gift shop, tried all of the pick-up lines he knew (all three of them!), made him a mix tape complete with all the bad pop songs he knew, and he even tried giving the blond his hoodie which Sanji had outright refused to wear, much to Zoro's chagrin. He fought with Sanji occasionally which, according to Zoro, was pretty damn close to actual flirting.

After months of trying his hand at basic courtship Zoro was fed up with how oblivious Sanji was. He decided to make things easier for himself and just tell the blond how he felt. But whenever he worked up the courage to tell the other man, the words always seemed to die on his lips. Believe it or not, most stage 4 cancer patients didn't have a lot of free time to fraternize with their doctors and it never seemed like the right time to spit out his confession.

Eventually, however, Zoro's patience wore thin and the need to confess won out because he was a man dammit. He may not have had any hair but he had his pride and a shit ton of angry butterflies that never seemed to quit their insistent fluttering whenever a certain blond was around that would back him up.

Sanji was wheeling Zoro to one of his chemo sessions when Zoro had suddenly blurted "I think I kind of like your butt maybe." Zoro knew that was a pretty dumb confession but he assumed that even Sanji would be able to understand what he meant. Boy was he wrong.

Sanji nearly tripped over his feet at the seemingly random statement, his shoes squeaking loudly on the cheap floor tiles as he came to a sudden stop. "You what?" Sanji basically screeched, drawing the attention of various passersby.

Zoro was annoyed. He really didn't like repeating himself but Sanji was kind of a numbskull and apparently didn't understand what it meant to like someone's butt. "I like you asshole," he restated, turning in his chair to give the other man a level stare.

Sanji blinked owlishly at him, seeming to process what the other man had said. "Wait, do you mean you _like-like _me?"

"Jesus. Are you in fucking middle school?"

Sanji glanced shyly at his shoes, nervously biting his bottom lip and even going so far as to twiddle his thumbs. "No…"

"Stop that shitty nurse. It's creeping me out." Zoro snorted, trying not to laugh at the blond's façade.

Sanji dropped the act quickly, shooting Zoro a shit eating grin that caused the other man to scowl. "I like you too asshole, a lot actually."

Zoro's scowl quickly turned into a grin that could rival Sanji's own. "Don't you mean you _like-like_ me?" For some reason Zoro felt like crying, but he didn't. He was too happy to cry. Way too fucking happy to be able shed a single tear.

"Oh fuck off," Sanji growled, playfully shoving Zoro's shoulder. The blond began moving again, bending over slightly to murmur in the other man's ear "So where do you think we should go for our first date?"

Zoro hummed for a moment, seemingly deep in thought about all the places they could go for their hospital rendezvous and just the slightest bit distracted by the young doctor's hot breath against his ear. "I was thinking we could go out for coffee. Does that sound good to you?"

"That sounds absolutely perfect."

**xXx**

Zoro usually prides himself on being able to keep calm under pressure but lying awake on an operating table preparing to get your entire lung removed is something he wouldn't wish upon his worst enemy. The whole thing made him anxious and nervous and he really wants to see Sanji and his stupid face and his stupid eyebrow and just hear his stupid laugh and his…

"You alright Zoro?" Someone asks. "Don't cry big guy, you're gonna be alright."

He's not crying. He hasn't actually cried since he was like nine or something. Or at least that's what he tells himself as a woman, he thinks she's the anesthesiologist, wipes his eyes dry with a tissue.

She situates a mask on his face and he vaguely registers a sharp prick of pain as one of the nurses sticks him with an I.V. needle. He feels tired. "Sanji…" he croaks. His eyes feel wet again.

He watches corners of the anesthesiologists eyes crinkle up into a smile. He can't see her mouth beneath the mask but he can tell her smile isn't nearly as nice as Sanji's. No one's smile is as nice as Sanji's. "That's right Zoro. You're going to see him as soon as you wake up," she assures.

Zoro closes his eyes and he feels himself nod slightly. He's going to be okay. He's got to see Sanji and maybe propose when he wakes up. They've only had like one date, and it wasn't really an actual date, but life is too short to waste it on formalities and Zoro wasn't very traditional when it came to stuff like romance and falling in love anyway.

Sanji would probably be surprised. And then he'd probably try to kick him in the face. Then maybe he'd say yes.

Zoro can feel himself slipping. He's floating and suddenly he's back in that shitty coffee shop. Sanji is holding his hand, laughing, smiling, kissing him. His perfect blue eyes are alight with something that could almost be considered love and it makes his chest hurt. _Sanji._

'_I love you'_ is Zoro's last thought before he slips under. '_I should have told you that I love you.'_

He falls asleep and doesn't wake up.

**xXx**

**A/N: So this fic is for the ZoSan Coffee Shop AU project on tumblr which is run by the lovely Kumiko-sama-chan. I'm not an expert on cancer but I have had numerous secondhand experiences with the disease and I felt like I had enough information to write at least a semi-accurate fic regarding the subject matter. If anyone has any problems with what I've written or if you see any sort of inaccuracies **_**please**_** tell me. Depending on how much feedback this fic gets I might write a (much happier) alternate ending. **

**Reviews are always appreciated and thank you for reading!**


	2. Alternate Ending

Zoro stared blearily up at the ceiling, trying to make his eyes focus but to no avail. He felt numb. A somewhat pleasant tingling sensation spread throughout his arms and legs and he shivered.

Suddenly a yellow blob appeared in front of his line of sight. It was a person or at least he thought they were a person. He honestly wasn't too sure of anything right now.

Their mouth was moving but their voice was muffled. It sounded like they were talking to him underwater.

His eyes felt heavy. The person kept talking to him but Zoro couldn't be bothered to reply.

Zoro closed his eyes, just barely feeling the hand that gripped his own through the numbness as he feel asleep.

**xXx**

The next time Zoro woke up he was somewhat more alert and in a helluva a lot more pain. The pleasant numbness he has once felt had disappeared and had been replaced with a burning ache in his chest.

"Son of a bitch," he hissed, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes in an effort to try and block out the pain.

"Sounds like someone needs more morphine," a familiar voice muttered, making Zoro flinch.

He immediately tried to sit up, swearing loudly as the sudden movement sent a shockwave of pain through his chest.

"You might need to take things slow for a while," Sanji murmured, pressing his hand into Zoro's chest and forcing him to lie back down.

"Fuck. Everything hurts."

"Oh really? I couldn't tell. Maybe you should swear some more, I'm sure that would help you get your point across."

"Fuck you."

"Oh my, major surgery sure makes you ornery. Maybe you should take a nap, yeah?"

Zoro glared at the other man as he replaced his nearly empty bag of IV fluid with a new one. "I don't want to sleep. I literally just got up," he whined, crossing his arms over his chest, wincing as he did so.

"Mmhmm. Well soon you're going to be sleeping again whether you want to or not. You're on some pretty strong pain meds after all," Sanji paused for a moment, fiddling with the tube that went from the bag of fluids to Zoro's arm. "I'm honestly surprised you've managed to stay awake this long."

"I have amazing-" Zoro paused for a moment, stopping mid-sentence to yawn "-willpower." He tried to ignore the familiar numbness that spread through his veins but whatever Sanji had given him was apparently pretty potent.

"I know you do Zoro. Trust me, I know that better than anyone," Sanji said, rolling his eyes ever so slightly. "But you still need to rest. Sleep is the best medicine after all."

Zoro nodded, settling himself back against the cheap hospital pillows that lay atop his bed. He felt too tired to argue any further with the doctor. "Hey Sanji?"

"Yeah?"

Zoro glanced at the other man for a moment; the idiot has probably hadn't slept in days if his appearance was anything to go by.

"I think I love you," he muttered quietly, searching the blond's face for any sort of reaction the confession may have elicited from the other man.

Sanji hadn't reacted in the way Zoro thought he would. Actually Sanji hadn't really reacted at all.

"Just get some sleep Zoro. I'll be back to check on you in a bit. Okay?"

"Okay," was all he said.

Sanji left.

Zoro was heartbroken.

**xXx**

Zoro was doing better. He wasn't cured but after his lung had been removed the cancer cell count in his body had decreased drastically.

Sanji had been missing in action since Zoro had confessed nearly three months ago and Zoro was frustrated with how the blond was acting. He knew things would be a bit awkward between them for a while but it was cowardly to try and avoid the situation entirely.

As soon as Zoro was able to walk again he set off on a mission to find the doctor. On his first few expeditions, Zoro had gotten a bit turned around. After a few hours of wandering aimlessly around the hospital, a nurse would usually find him in a restricted area of the hospital and haul him back to his room, complaining about how he wasn't supposed to wander off by himself.

Today, however, Zoro was in luck. During his sixth or seventh expedition around the hospital Zoro found himself in one of the hospital's bathrooms which just so happened to house a certain blond.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Zoro snapped as soon as he saw the other man. Saying he was pissed would have been a drastic understatement.

"Uh…" Sanji's voice cracked ever so slightly. "Peeing?"

Only then did Zoro notice that Sanji was indeed standing slightly over a urinal, looking rather embarrassed and just the slightest bit startled at Zoro's intrusion.

Zoro flushed slightly, forgetting for a moment that he was mad at the blond. "No, that's not uh… that's not what I meant. I just wanted to know why you've been avoiding me lately," he stuttered, trying to will his blush away.

"I haven't been avoiding you," Sanji said, his voice rising in pitch ever so slightly as he tucked himself back into his pants. Now that was a blatant lie.

"Oh really? You've barely said a word to me at all these past few months. We haven't even had a proper conversation since I've woken up. I know you don't love me back but you don't-"

"I never said I didn't love you Zoro," Sanji snapped, effectively cutting Zoro off.

"You didn't fucking have to! How you've been acting the past three months has pretty much shown me that you want nothing to do with me!" Zoro was furious. How could Sanji even act like he wasn't in the wrong?

"That's not true!" Sanji barked back "God Zoro, I fucking love you."

"What?" Zoro croaked out. "N-no you don't."

Sanji sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I do. I love nearly everything about you. I love you so much it hurts."

"If you love me so much then why did you run away?" Zoro murmured, trying not to raise his voice.

Sanji sighed again, trying to keep his emotions in check. "I was scared. I didn't-" the blond's breath hitched as he began to fiercely rub at his eyes. "I honestly didn't think that you'd live thorough the surgery. If you had died I don't know what I would have done." Sanji paused again to let out a chocked sob. "And when you told me that you loved me I was so scared. What if you get another tumor in your lung? Then what? I can't watch you go through this again. I just can't-"

Sanji honestly wanted to say he was surprised when Zoro's bony arms worked their way around but he wasn't. Zoro was far too kind to let him break down on his own. "We just need to take things one step at a time shitty nurse. Don't worry about things that haven't happened yet."

Sanji pressed his face into Zoro's shoulder, hugging him tightly. "I thought I was going to lose you."

"Well you didn't asshole. I'm here for the long haul," Zoro muttered, pressing his nose into Sanji's blond locks. "So don't leave me again, okay?"

"Only if you don't leave me first," Sanji whispered back as he rubbed soothing circles against the other man's back.

"It's a deal."

**xXx**

Even after they had gotten married, the butterflies that only seemed to appear when Sanji was around didn't go away, in fact they seemed to multiply significantly.

"Do you ever get these weird butterfly things in your stomach?" Zoro had asked one night after a particularly active night of lovemaking.

"Hmm… Yeah." Sanji flipped onto his side, interrupting a particularly nice back rub Zoro had been giving him so that he could turn and face the other man. "They're annoying as hell aren't they?"

Zoro was surprised. He honestly wasn't sure whether or not Sanji was also plagued by the insistent butterflies like he was. "They are. Do you know how to get rid of them?"

Sanji snorted, trying to hide his amusement behind a hand that he had lifted to cover his smile. "They're not exactly something you can get rid of. Just think of it as an incurable side effect of being in love."

"Kind of like how losing all your hair is a side effect of having cancer?"

"Well you actually lose all of your hair because it's a side effect of the medication they give you to treat cancer but yeah, pretty much," Sanji nodded to himself, reaching up to brush his hand through Zoro's short, fuzzy head of hair. "You know, you kind look like a fuzzy ball of moss."

"Shut up, it's still growing back," Zoro grunted, shoving Sanji's shoulder lightly. "Just go to sleep asshole."

"That's honestly the best idea you've had all day," Sanji yawned, scooting himself over slightly so he could press into Zoro's side more fully.

"Goodnight Sanji," Zoro muttered, trying his best not to sound_ too_ sarcastic.

"Goodnight Mossball, I love you."

Zoro smiled. He felt at home. This was where he belonged. "I love you too."

**xXx**

**A/N: While writing this I listened to Hold My Heart by Sarah Bareilles on repeat and cried a lot. (You should listen to that song. It is a great song.) Thank you for reading and as always, reviews are welcome and greatly appreciated. I hope you enjoyed the alternate ending! **


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